There are just a few hours left in this 36th birthday of mine, and I haven’t cried yet.
Not. one. single. tear.
Usually I find birthdays, all of them, mine or yours, to be a bit of a spill over for emotions.
I had hopes, but I didnt voice them, so no one knew what I needed.
I feel obliged to follow through with other people’s plans rather than what feels right to me, or I have a general sense of anxiety I just cant pinpoint.
It turns out birthdays in quarantine sort of cancel all that stuff out.
Nothing can happen.
No one is coming.
No one expects anything.
No one is buying me anything or taking me anywhere.
It’s all quite refreshing really…the simplicity.
And most importantly, I knew what was coming.
This made more room for joy.
As a busy mom of 4, today’s gifts were simple and meaningful.
First, our toddler surprised me with a well-timed nap before lunch. This allowed for a warm shower, conditioned hair, makeup and an outfit that didnt fall into the pj category. Next, my teen offered to stay with all of the kids while I picked up our groceries, allowing me to have a good two hours in the car, singing to all my fav jams. Our kids showered me with simple homemade cards, reminding me that they do, in fact, love me. Ezra even gave me a marble for being the best mom. This is especially sweet since we’ve begun to use marbles as our system of remembering to complete tasks…for each thing on the list, the kids can add a marble to the jar to help keep them accountable.
So he added one to mine.
Also, there was cake at the store.
The one I ordered.
At a time when there are frequently no bananas, eggs, or toilet paper… chocolate truffle cake is a win. So is a beautiful sunny day, since many of my birthdays have been spent in the rain or snow, or sometimes both. What a rare gift! Couple all of this with the fact that my hubby will be joining us at home this week while he works, and I’m one happy mum.
Also, he’s building me a greenhouse this summer, for my quarantine birthday gift , and I’ve confirmed it here in front of the masses.
Asking myself, what do I have control over?
The strangest thing I’m experiencing during this isolation are the strong, opposing feelings which are becoming a part of everyday life. I’m sure I cant be alone in this.
A bit of homeschool panic
notes from the inside…well, kinda